Apparently I have New Church Anxiety. It’s a new disorder that I’ve diagnosed myself with. I’m sure I’m not the only one with it so I think the name might catch on. Tomorrow I’m going to a new church to conduct worship there for the first time. I’ve been fretting over details all week, trying to make everything perfect and orderly so that when I go in it runs smoothly and everyone has a great Easter experience. I thought I had things under control. I went to bed with the sermon done, the order ready to print and the thought that I should iron my gown before service on Sunday. Sounds like I’m on top of things right?
I think my big mistake was thinking about my gown before going to bed. I’m not overly comfortable in my gown. It’s a long story but suffice it to say I very rarely wear it. We’re talking 3-4 times/year at most. I’m wearing it tomorrow because there is an Elder’s Ordination in the service and I think it would probably be nice if I dressed for the occasion.
So last night after thinking about my gown I had this dream that I was standing in front of the congregation about to commence with the Great Prayer of Thanksgiving when my gown fell off and I was standing there scrambling trying to put it back on to cover up the Hello Kitty T-Shirt I was wearing. I don’t actually own a Hello Kitty tee and if I did I would absolutely not wear it to church. The only day of the week I really get to look nice is Sunday so I dress up a little.
This dream freaked me out and I spent a good hour editing my finished sermon and making sure my service was 100% ready to go. I think I’m ready now but likely I’ll look at it again later. Now I’m off to make dinner before I attempt to make dessert for tomorrow.
Since I’ve become a minister I’ve tried to embrace the chaos that surrounds major holidays. I’m obviously not there yet but I do welcome the day when I’m consistently with the same crew so we can journey through a season together and I have more control over what things are happening. Apparently I’m a control freak. Who knew? I guess this is something I should work on…
