Life is interesting. When I graduated from Seminary and settled into my first charge I did not expect six years later to find myself at home with a son acting as a bit of a wandering preacher. I have no home base, no where I can really lay claim to in my ministry and yet I feel I’ve finally accepted my identity as a Minister of Word and Sacrament. It’s part of who I am. I’m okay with that. I’ve not always been able to say that.
I wonder if it’s because I’m free. I’ve disconnected. No longer having to worry about a checklist of things to do or people to see I am able to just minister. I can do more now. I meet people in stores and on the street and we talk. There are no worries about time. I’m able to be truly present. Nothing is planned anymore. Ministry is almost always a surprise to me. It’s a very different experience. I’m free to be Becky, the person God called me to be. It’s a fascinating, wonderful thing.
I don’t know what this will mean for my future. I hope that I will be able to retain my sense of self when I return to ministry full time. I want to be this present and aware as I Minister in the Church. I want to be used as God would like and not program/plan myself to death. I wonder if I was called into a time of disconnect to really feel this, to know for certain what it means to provide ministry. I sense others are also unsettled. Many colleagues in ministry have moved on into new charges, taken different work or moved to a new career entirely. Change is inevitable. Disconnect is all around. I am not alone.
This experience has reminded me of how God wants us to live. We need to be a community like the Church in Acts 2. We need to be loving. We must serve. We should provide for one another and truly minister in Christ’s name. In many ways we’ve lost this. We’ve placed programs and maintenance on the to do list before outreach and mission. We’re no longer a place of restoration and have fallen instead into the realm of business. I wonder where the message has gone.
It is a time of disconnect. Are we all being called to disconnect from what we know so we can see what truly matters? Is it time to leave the packaging behind? Can we discover who we truly are as Christ followers and what we should actually be doing? I wonder…
