Size isn’t everything.

I’ve lost 4 followers in the last week.

*sigh*

I shouldn’t sigh. I shouldn’t even be concerned really. I don’t do this for numbers or hits. I write to share my faith, my life and other random things I think about that I probably shouldn’t share but do anyhow. I write to maintain my skills during dry seasons in ministry. I write and sometimes erase just to vent. Followers aren’t really part of the equation, at least they aren’t when things are going up. When they go down though I notice and wonder if it’s something I said, or did, or didn’t do.

On some level this is something we all worry about, isn’t it? If we’re in ministry we worry about numbers and attendance. In the working world we seek to make connections and friends. Networking and people go hand in hand in the modern world and numbers equal success (or so we are told). When someone stops attending their vacant seat in the pew is a glaring notification of their absence. A dropped subscriber is noticed. We don’t wish to fail.

Jesus knows a little something about followers though and he got me to thinking today when I was questioning everything I know to be true about blogging.  When we look at Jesus’ ministry, we see a man who started with just himself and eventually was preaching to crowds well into the thousands. In the final week of his life, he went from having a parade thrown in his honor to having been abandoned by all but a handful of his closest friends.  Yet still, in the midst of it all he persisted and moved forward with his mission.  When Sunday came, when he stepped out of that tomb he knew he some would come back and some would not but ultimately he had accomplished what he was sent to do and that was what was important. It wasn’t about followers, it was about people and the message.

As Church people (and as bloggers) we need to remember this. It isn’t the size of your subscriber list or the number of people in the pews that matters. What matters is the life you are living, the service you are doing and the mission God has given you. If you are living your life in accordance with what God wants, if your worshipping community is focussed on the Gospel and shining a light into the world, God-things will happen.  Size isn’t everything, it’s the substance that counts.

While it always hurts when people move on, my blog isn’t about my followers it’s about shining a light into the world to whoever happens to pop in. It isn’t about me, it’s about God and isn’t that the most important thing? Whatever we do, no matter how big or how small should all be about God and regardless of how big or little I become I shall endeavor to make this blog just that.

Weathering the storm.

A little over three years ago my son entered the world in a rather dramatic way having not grown half of his diaphragm in the womb.  The condition is called Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia and his case was of course, one the rarest as my son doesn’t do anything halfway. He’s healthy now and amazing.  My husband and I feel so blessed to have him with us. Because of his this, last night caught me completely off guard.

As we drove home from a dinner out with family, X. moaned in the backseat, unable to get comfortable. When we arrived home he immediately crawled into bed and could not settle. He was flailing about, moaning and groaning. He kept pointing to his side and the pain seemed to get worse and worse. Anxiety hit, terror filled my heart and I began to wonder, with no fever or other obvious symptom could it be re-herniation or a bowel obstruction? Then I realized it was food poisoning as my husband got hit too. A little overreaction on my part

It’s quite fitting that the topic we are dealing with in our Lent Project reading is anxiety.  After all what is anxiety but worry over what could be, or what is going to happen. Today we are reminded that we need not be afraid, that wherever we go there is one who has been there before us.  Jesus knows our worries and we are carried by him.

Moments like last night are a good reminder that nothing is within our control. My poor husband and son got food poisoning. Regardless of the end result we did have fun at dinner and we weathered the storm that followed. Even if we’d been anxious about the potential for food poisoning or other restaurant catastrophes it wouldn’t have changed the fact that it actually happened. Worry holds us back and prevents us from truly living in the moment. Our life is a gift from God and we should live it fully.

This was a good reminder for me. Worry often amounts to nothing and even if I’m right it won’t change what happens. I need to place my trust in the one who is, who was and who will be. He’s carried me through many storms so far, I have no reason to believe he won’t continue to do so.

Let’s not forget another important lesson from last night.  Kitchen hygiene is absolutely essential.

 

 

Today I am choosing to see.

photo (4) 2

My boys had a little disagreement this morning and after they hugged it out my son came running to me.  He crawled up into my lap, turned his head to the side and looked up at me expectantly.  I was supposed to make things better.  I was supposed to support him in his hour of need after a grave injustice had been done to him.  His Dad has said ‘No’ and that traumatized him. I gave him the cuddle he wanted, told him he had to listen to his Dad and when he realized he couldn’t get the ‘Yes’ he wanted, he went off on his merry way. He’s been doing this a lot lately. Pushing boundaries and then running back again.  He wants to explore yet stay close. He’s feeling the tug between independence and security. He is growing up and sometimes that’s hard. At times it’s hard for me too. I want to foster an adventurous spirit and encourage him to explore the world but he is my baby and it’s hard to let go. I make the choice daily to encourage him.  I remind myself that change is necessary and an important part of growing. I cherish these days and enjoy them as they are going so quickly.  I’m making a choice to see him for who he is each day even when I want things to stay the same.

Watching my son this morning after reading today’s passage from the Lent Project changed my perspective on things a little bit.  When we read this passage we need to remember that the people in the synagogue are the same people who watched Jesus grow up. He was a child in their presence. These are the people who would’ve seen him with friends and perhaps he played with their own children. These are the people who would’ve heard him shriek with glee when winning a game. They would’ve dried his tears when he scraped his knees.  They loved him, supported him and were deeply invested in the life of this community so they would’ve been proud to see him take this leadership role in the community.

That said, they might’ve been surprised to see him doing so well and it’s hard to know {as I wasn’t there} if their comment with regards to him being Joseph’s son is a slight because he’s the son of a carpenter or if it’s because he’s come so far and they’re so proud. After speaking, Jesus does what many people in a family do when things are going rather well at a family gathering, he picks a fight. Instead of overlooking the sneaky dig he goes right for the jugular. And are we surprised?  Not in the slightest. Jesus has never been one to hide, he confronts and forces people to see things for how they really are.  How they are unwilling to change and accept that which is new.

It turns out that Jesus was right, the people of Nazareth aren’t very accepting and their response to his statements is attempting to him off a cliff.  This is not a loving act, it’s a huge overreaction. In and of itself this demonstrates how little the people are willing to see. They are stuck in the past, as parental figures and leaders they’ve become offended when he speaks wisdom in their presence and don’t wish to hear it from him. What he says hits too close to home. They can see that he has surpassed them and that I’m sure it scared them. At it’s hard to let go, to see that people have grown beyond us and can now teach us a thing or too. The people of Nazareth weren’t ready to see.  They didn’t possess the faith needed to walk with Jesus and that’s sad.

This is a problem we all encounter at some point or another. Sometimes I see it at home as my son grows, other times I see it at Church when people can’t let go of the past and see where they stand in the present.  Moment pass and we miss important opportunities because we do not see, we have not opened our eyes to the things around us and will not accept that change has happened. We don’t want to learn from those we have taught and sometimes we forget to listen. When truth is painful and resonates deeply it’s hard to accept, it’s hard to see especially when it comes from someone so close to you.

As hard as it is, I want to open my eyes. I want to hear what people have to say and see truth wherever it comes from. I want to witness miracles and have faith enough to make a difference. These people of Nazareth has shown me who I do not want to be and I’m choosing to learn from them. Today I pray for open eyes, for truth to reveal itself and the path to become clear.  Today I choose to see.  Will you open your eyes and join me?

Part of the family.

Dove

As you can see I’ve really thought about today’s passage for The Lent Project. Not because there’s anything particularly hard about it, there isn’t. I think it’s the straightforward nature of today’s situation that’s made me think. Looking at it, it’s a typical proud father moment. The Dad sees what a great young man his son is and says ‘You did good’. I think it’s the normalcy of this moment that makes it so very striking. God does not ask or tell, God just says ‘I’m proud of you’ to Jesus.

Of course there’s a miraculous component here as well as most people do not typically have the Holy Spirit descend on them like a dove. That’s pretty cool, but what comes afterwards is the interesting part for me today. This type of moment is not the type you usually share. It’s the kind of moment you have with someone when they draw you aside from the crowd to tell you how proud they are and how much they love you. The fact that we are able to witness this moment leaves me feeling a little uncomfortable. I feel like I shouldn’t be here, and yet I am. We all are.

This is an incredible thing. To open up and show us how proud he is of his son is to reveal something special.  To announce this pride and love, to proclaim it to the people is in a way inviting them into the family.  The fact that we are invited to witness this intimate moment it so humbling to me. For some reason God loves me. For some unknown reason God loves me enough to invite me in, chase me when I run away and wait patiently when I don’t call or write. This is not normal behavior for most people. This is a most incredible gift for which I’ll be forever grateful. But it’s not just about me, it’s about you too.  God loves you. While none of us understand it completely and some of us have a hard time accepting it, God loves us.  So much so that he’s willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for us. This moment when we see how much God loves his son shows us just how far God was willing to go. God loves us all and wants us to be with him, to be part of the family.

The question is, will you take him up on his invitation?
Will you say yes when he invites you in?

The light shines in the darkness

 

photo (20) 2

Light streamed in and danced on the table through the stained glass that hangs in my kitchen this morning. It has been much longed for and desired this winter. According to the local papers this has been the darkest winter in many years. Our days with sunlight have been few and far between. Light while it is always here on certain days shines brighter.  When the sun seems closer and there are fewer clouds between us and it, those days are special days. Today in our Lent project we see the beginning, we hear of the Word that always was. We read about the light that shines in the darkness.  We hear of Jesus’ presence in the world.

As I held my coffee and relished in the sunlight I realized that the physical presence of Jesus in a way is like a sunny day. On a cloudy day light filters through but it is muted and grey to us as we cannot see the source of the light. Jesus brings us close to the light, and through his life and love we have seen and known God.  

Jesus left us with this light, this glimpse of who God is and he wants us to share it with others. This morning at church I felt that light, I lived in that love. I want to share that light with others. With so much pain and sorrow in this world I think people need to hear Good News, they need to experience God’s light and life. I want to show them God without the hazy clouds blocking his presence.

How can I do that? How can we all do that? I suppose it starts with living in God’s presence. With inviting God in so that light shines from within us and others may see who God really is. I think it’s how we choose to live, what we choose to see and do.

This week I choose to shine the light. I will pray for those who are in darkness, show kindness to those in need and smile at those I meet. I was smiled at today by someone who looked genuinely happy and that was absolutely wonderful. Each day we have a choice, we can hide the light or share it. I’m choosing to share, even in dark times when things seem almost hopeless. I’m choosing to share because “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5 NIV

The yeast…

I’ve been experimenting with bread making this week.  It’s not as exciting as you think.  My husband went into our back room and dug out my bread machine so I only have to layer everything in a precise way and press a button.  It’s pretty easy, or so you would think.  Here is my first attempt.

failed bread
It looks awful, right?  It was even worse inside.  Uncooked and mushy, we couldn’t even make croutons out of this loaf.  What went wrong?  Lots of things I believe.  The first of which was the temperature of the liquid when it connected with the yeast.  You don’t want boiling hot and you definitely don’t want cold.  I think my liquid was too cold.  I also think the recipe I used didn’t call for enough liquid so the bread didn’t mix in the machine correctly.  Nevertheless I persevered and look what happened.

Bread again

This loaf worked.  I made sure that the water was exactly the right temperature.  I watched it like a hawk to ensure that the moisture level was correct and then I ate it smothered in jam.  It was definitely worth the effort and I realized something very important. Yeast is a little picky but when added at the right time, to the right mix amazing things can happen.

Because of my failures and final success with yeast, I started to think about Jesus and what he says about yeast.  Having a better understanding of how yeast works and the multitude of ways it can fail, I realized something important. Jesus says that the kingdom of heaven is like yeast that is worked into flour. When yeast is worked in and the right setting is there, amazing things can happen.  If however the setting is wrong, there’s nothing the yeast can do and ultimately the bread will fail.  It would seem to me that as God’s people we should be trying to keep ourselves open and ready for the spirit to move within us, to be the yeast in our lives and help us expand and grow.

I think ultimately we would say we want this but it’s scary to contemplate. When you look at bread, when you look at what yeast can do, how it changes and shapes the dough, that kind of change is frightening. Do we really want to double in love, in service, in devotion and commitment?  Do we want our churches to double in love, in service, in devotion, and commitment?  I think if they did amazing things could happen but our lives and church and worship would look very different from how they do today.

Are we ready to open ourselves up and prepare ourselves to do God’s work in the world or are we frightened of what that means?  Do you think you’re ready for yeast to be added to the mix?

 He told them still another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.”  Matthew 13:33 NIV 

Are we ready for Christmas?

Joy

Today day was simple and quiet.  I am still in recovery from a nasty virus but I figure by the weekend I’ll be 100%.  I’ve pleaded and begged with my husband not to bring anything home with him from work and am drinking my greens every day so I feel good and ready to celebrate Christmas.  It’s kind of funny when you think about it.  How ‘ready’ we get.  My dress is ready and waiting, I just need to pick out a scarf to go with it. I’m in decision making mode about whether I should wear a gown or just keep doing my ‘naked preaching’ thing.  I’m getting a hair cut tomorrow and have new makeup for the holiday parties I’m going to attend.  Overall my preparations far exceed those of the original participants.  I wonder if I’m missing the point somehow.

Maybe the point isn’t getting myself ready but just living in a state of readiness.  Like the shepherds who just happened to be there and Mary who said yes when asked without really thinking about the consequences.  Maybe readiness is how we are supposed to be living.  Always looking, seeking, searching for something more.  Never ceasing in the effort to be experience and see. Perhaps I need to work on being always ready instead of living to prepare.

It seems as though sometimes in the Church we live to prepare.  There are seasons and struggles and constant preparation as we wait for things to happen.  We have emergency budgets and slush funds {many of which are falling to dangerously low levels} and for the first time in memory it appears we are reaching a point for which we can no longer prepare.  We cannot possibly expect what will happen next and for that I am grateful.  We need a little chaos.  We need to be thrown off our game and ripped away from the rules and regulations that define us.    We need to exist as God created us to exist, in loving relationship with him and others.  Our obsession with preparedness is not helpful as it prevents us from living to our full potential.

Jesus himself was an inconvenience and at times if we’re honest still is.  He entered the world at the most inconvenient time for his parents coming into their lives while they were sleeping in a stable.  As he grew he continued to push people of balance taking them beyond where they were comfortable.  At one point he sent his disciples out with nothing, completely unprepared so they would be forced to rely on others and build relationships with them.  When he died he left his disciples with no plan and when he came back he was vague and they continued their wait for answers until the Holy Spirit descended. With Jesus it wasn’t never about getting ready but always living in that state of readiness to accept whatever mission one was called to.

Jesus comes unexpectedly in the night asking us to drop everything and there really isn’t any preparing for that.  Are we ready for Christmas?  I’m not sure it matters.  It’s coming like a tidal wave and there’s no stopping it.  Maybe the better question is are we ready for Jesus?  For that inconvenient intrusion that inevitably shakes us to the core and forces us to evaluate everything.   Are we ready for his entrance into our lives, our faith, our churches?  Are we ready to hear how we’ve got to drop all we know and follow him where he’ll take us?

His peace he leaves with us.

Candle

I remember sitting around campfires with my Dad when I was younger. Together we would sing in the darkness and the light from the fire would keep us warm and feeling safe. One of my favorite songs he taught me resonates inside me today. I remember it well. “His peace he gives to us. His peace he leaves with us. Not for us alone but that we might give it again to all men.” I have no idea who wrote this song {and Google doesn’t either for that matter} but whoever it was has my thanks.  This verse is a constant reminder to me of John 14:27 and Jesus’ assurance that he offers peace and a reminder that we should not be afraid.

It’s hard not to be afraid, isn’t it? Even with Jesus’ reminder that we don’t need to be afraid there are days when this world is a dark, lonely place. Days when all we see on the television is devastation and despair. When we discover that humanity can do horrible things. When we learn of children and adults lost in a dreadful shooting.  How can we possibly wrap our heads around it? Our hearts break for the people involved and the temptation is there for us to withdraw and hide, to sneak away from the world which hurts so many.

In this temptation I am again drawn back into John. His peace he gives to us…not for us alone but that we might give it again to all men. We are called to share his peace and bring light back into the world around us. Matthew 5: 14-16 puts it another way “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. (The Message).  

As followers of Christ we are called into open lives, lives which allow the light of God to shine through. We are called to live in love, for love, spilling love out to others as we go. We’re to shine so that others may see God in us and isn’t that what the world needs right now? A light, a shining light to direct them to the ultimate comfort giver. This world needs people willing to fight for things like peace and love. As we sit here in Advent, waiting for answers that might never come we must help bring peace and security into this world. As we wait in Advent hoping for a champion to save us from ourselves, we must remember Jesus came to us as a baby, as a child who would show us what it was to truly live life. As we sit together waiting, wondering we must live as he showed us, unafraid to share his peace and light, unafraid to reach out into the world with love and hope.

Beginning now let’s live the life he taught us to live, boldly sharing his light and peace with those around us.  We should pray for the the families in Connecticut and for those around the world who have experienced darkness and terror but let’s not stop there. Together we will funnel our energy into good, harnessing the love we’ve been given and then spill it out into the world.  We will reach out to those we know, to those who are hurting in our own communities.  We will discover ways to serve and make a difference in this world. In times like these we cannot hide, we must push forth and live completely in this world.  We must now find a way to be the change that is needed, to make this world safer and provide hope for those who feel hopeless.  Let’s be the light this world needs.  Let’s shine together and see how the darkness lifts.

An Open Letter to Rod Stewart.

Bethlehem Nativity
Dear Mr. Stewart,

I just have to open this letter by saying I am a huge fan of your work. In particular I’ve adored ‘the Great American Songbook’ series. As a result I found myself delighted when I discovered you had released a Christmas Album this year. I immediately downloaded it from iTunes and added it to my Christmas playlist. I was however a little surprised by the song ‘Red Suited Superman’. It seemed very out of the ordinary for a Christmas song. Catchy but definitely not a usual Christmas number.

I think what really struck me about this particular song was the sentiment it carried regarding Santa. It seems to me that the song lifts Santa from a fun part of Christmas to a superhero savior figure. Throughout the song there seems to be a belief that Santa can bring joy, peace, love and miracles. Now I love Santa as much as the next person but this seems to me to be a bit of a stretch. Since I’ve known of Santa he’s been the bringer of stuff at Christmas not the Savior. Year after year kids write their lists and send them to Santa for the things that they desire at Christmas. Santa works very hard all year with his elves making tons of toys and then brings them around the world to kids. Santa brings joy that is temporary and wonderful, I won’t deny that but it is temporary. Santa’s joy is not everlasting. He does not impact people in permanent or life changing ways. If the things Santa brought were truly fulfilling would the malls be full on Boxing Day with bargain hunters?  Things don’t satisfy, as people we need something more.

I’m certain you’re aware of this but the origins of Christmas lay in Jesus. It was a feast day to celebrate Christ’s entrance in the world. Christmas is about the moment God entered the world to be with us and offer us hope. It was a day of miracles, joy and overflowing love. Jesus brought us the gift of God’s presence and new possibilities. I think this is where the true miracle of Christmas lies.  It lies in the knowledge that God lived with us, loved us and showed us what it meant to bring peace into the world. Jesus’ life shows us the radiant joy one can find when they live for others and not things. He showed us what it is to spill love into the world and how great an impact one can have on a community by simple caring enough to pay attention. In Jesus we see what it is to truly live a wonderful life and at Christmas we celebrate his entrance into our world.

On Christmas Day in my home we will hear once more the story of Jesus and Santa will have undoubtedly paid a visit. We enjoy the day and all it’s parts but we know the true meaning behind it. Christmas music will be playing and your album will be part of my playlist as I do enjoy it. I would just like to ask one favor. Would you think, really think about who the superman of the story really is? A real superman is someone who changes lives. It seems to me there’s only one person at Christmas who does that.

Merry Christmas,

Becky

Everything changed.

When Jesus arrived, everything changed. Nothing remained as it was and the world was flipped upside down. Love entered our midst and we discovered that God would do anything necessary to be with us. Doubt remained though among the people.  Not everyone could see the gift that was offered. They weren’t looking forward, they were looking back. Back to the time when life was comfortable and they knew what to expect. No one expected a baby. No one expected that baby to grow to be a teacher who broke rules and put people first. They wanted something familiar, something they knew.

I was listening to a song by Eddie Kirkland this week and a verse really resonated with me “The future was bright and clear she planned for a wedding day.  Her daddy would hold back tears giving her hand away.  But now all her hope and fear in a cradle lay ’cause a baby came and everything changed.”   When God enters your life, everything changes.  Mary would not have expected her life to turn out as it did yet she followed.  So many people throughout the history of God’s people had to make difficult choices that forced them to leave their dreams behind.  Abraham left his life behind for a new land. Moses chose to go against the life he’d always known and led people into the desert.  David stood up to a giant and became a king.  So many others were asked to make a choice and their lives were changed.

A single choice can change the direction of your life.  Three years ago my life changed.  My plans for ministry and my family no longer mattered and I had to make a choice regarding what I would do.  My son needed some extra care so I chose to stay home and my whole life changed.  As I’ve watched him grow, I’ve grown.  I’ve had time to write, to dream, to vision for the future.  I’ve discovered that God is never finished with you and sometimes when you make a choice, everything changes.  Sometimes your plans for the future aren’t actually the future you’re meant to have.

A single choice can change the direction of your life.
A single choice can change the direction of an organization.
A single choice can change the world.

It can be tempting to look back and wonder what might’ve been had things been different.  It’s common to wish that things didn’t have to change, that pain and uncertainty wasn’t part of the equation.  It’s normal but it doesn’t change the fact that life is uncertain. The future isn’t always clear and that’s okay. We may not know where we are going but if we have faith, God will go with us and lead us to a new future. We just need to surrender our control and walk boldly into an uncertain future.  If we let go of what we know we might find a new future filled with more promise than we thought possible.  God is looking to enter our midst but we have to allow him to enter.

If we let God in everything will change.  Are we ready for that?
Are we ready for everything to change?

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