Awake my soul.

4 Jun posted by

The weight of discouragement hangs heavy on my shoulders.
I see the need for things to change and realize that change is not always possible.
Change requires action.
Action requires decision.
Decision, well it’s not something we do well.

I am troubled.
Troubled by our path.
Troubled by the lack of vision and decisive action.
Troubled by the lack of faith and motivation to live a different life, to be a different kind of people.

Awake my soul.
Awake our soul.
Awake something…

When are we going to wake from this?
When will we realize we are dry bones?
When will we ask for living water?

There is good news out there.
Stories of redemption and change.
Stories of action and decision.
Stories of trust and faith.
I am glad these stories are told.
They need to be shared over and over again until people hear them and begin to believe in possibilities.

We need to wake up.
We need to be shaken from our slumber.
We are dry bones. We need living water.

Awake my soul.
Awake our soul.
Awake us Lord…

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Filed Under: Musings

Game 7

13 May posted by

Go Leafs Go

It’s game 7 tonight.  Go Leafs Go!

My family right now is going nuts.  My brother, a life long Leafs fan who has for years cheered a team that was floundering is beyond excited.  My Dad is feeling the same way.  Together they have tried desperately to make a fan out of my husband by making him watch every playoff game with them. Alvin claims he doesn’t care but bailed from a meeting at my son’s school tonight as he said to me ‘it’s Game 7′.  Leaf-mania is everywhere in my life from tiny leaf pajamas to constant iPhone updates.  It’s all we’re talking about and it’s kind of fun.

My brother came over today and we got to talking about [wait for it] the Leafs. He’s so excited about tonight and when I commented on how calm under pressure James Reimer seemed last night he said ‘It’s his faith. He’s Christian you know. You should blog about him.’ I quickly replied that I don’t blog about everyone who’s a Christian but then secretly went and looked the guy up. If my brother was saying his grace under fire was due to his faith, I had to know what people were talking about. What I found was really inspiring.

James Reimer said this about his faith “It’s a big reason why I’m calm out there,” he said. “I mean, I don’t have any fear of what’s going to happen. The way I see it, or tell myself, if I let in zero or six, it’s His call up there. It’s whatever He wants in my life. It helps to calm it down and put everything in perspective.“

This kind of faith in God with regards to his work and the outcome is inspiring. From what I’ve read, James Reimer works hard, really hard to maintain his skill level and focus. He is determined to be the best player he can be but in the end after all the work is done he knows that God is the one who brings him peace. He believes that what God wants is what will happen and that’s what matters to him. To some his thoughts may be silly.  They may see it as just a game that God wouldn’t care about while others may say it’s a fatalistic attitude, but I think it goes deeper than that.  The quote he has on the back of his helmet from Matthew 14:31 reflects that. It’s about trust, not doubt. It’s about faith and knowing that God is the one who gives you strength and is invested in you.

Isn’t this how we should all live our lives? Working hard to grow our talents and skills that we’ve been given and trusting that God will go with us to  guide us as we go. It’s not about us doing it all or God doing it all, it’s teamwork. It’s about relationship.

Imagine if we did this as a church? What would happen if we used our talents and skills but surrendered the outcome to God? It could be good, great even. We might see that it isn’t about us fixing things or making things possible but instead letting God bless that which God saw fit to bless while we work to bring light into the world however we know how.

Reading about James Reimer today gave me a few things to think about. It’s not either/or it’s both/and. It’s not enough for me to use my gifts, I have to trust that God will help me as I go. It isn’t enough for the church to plan for the future, we have to invite God to join in and direct us. Good thoughts to ponder over the coming weeks and months but for tonight I shall just say this…

Go Leafs Go!
 

 

 

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Roots matter.

27 Apr posted by

The Dandelion

I spent the afternoon with my hands in the dirt. It was marvellous. I’m preparing my garden for growth. Getting the soil just right so that when the plants are ready to sink in they will be met with a wonderful environment. As I had my hands in the dirt I found myself transplanting the tiniest shoot of rhubarb to a newer, happier home. My neighbour kept accidentally stepping on it last year so it never had the change to blossom and produce. As I dug around to find the root I was amazed at how deep it went for such a tiny plant. The root was strong even if the plant seemed weak. It was incredible.

As I moved on from the rhubarb I found myself pulling weeds and attempting to get every last piece of them so they don’t come back.  Roots matter. Some weeds like the moss that grows along the back patio are easy to remove. The roots are weak and useless to any force that might come upon it. The dandelions like this one found on the side of the road, need to be pulled carefully. If you don’t get the whole root you’ll have a repeat visitor.

Roots matter.

“…Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:17-19 NLT

Roots matter. If it was just about looks the moss would win the day. It looked impressive and was quite green and fluffy. Rather pretty for moss really but looks don’t mean much, it’s what’s underneath everything that matters. As people we need to remember this. We can look like we’re Christians. We can go to church and say the right things; we can even wear shirts that proclaim who we are but that’s not what counts, is it? It’s what’s in our hearts that truly matters. It’s what we’re invested in, who we’re invested in that matters. It’s the time we take personally to connect with God, to grow and understand what this love is that we’ve been given. When we root ourselves in love we begin to see how big God truly is, we begin to understand how much of a gift his love is to us. When we root ourselves in God, we can stand firm in just about anything life throws at us.

Roots matter. You can’t see them but they shape us and ground us and nourish us in this life. Where are you rooted? Where is your nourishment coming from? Roots matter. Take some time and help them grow deep and wide.

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Filed Under: Faith, Musings

A dangerous thing.

25 Apr posted by

Dangerous
As I’ve told you, it looks like my time of regular supply is coming to an end and I was doing well with this information until I realized how much time I am going to have on my hands when it happens. The thing is I love crafting services for Sunday. Digging into the word and finding interesting, compelling ways of sharing stories we’ve all heard time and again is challenging. Finding the heart of the message and engaging it is a thrill. I’m going to have way too much time on my hands when that work stops.

The future’s not looking too good from where I sit right now. I like to be busy. I feel productive and happy when I’ve got something on the go.  Over the past week I’ve been found sitting at my desk listening to music without writing, watching countless episodes of Community and opening many books without actually reading a line in them. I have too much time on my hands and that’s a dangerous thing for me.

I’m not ungrateful for all I’ve been given. I recognize that these three years have been a marvellous blessing for my family.  When my son was sick we were lucky to have the resources available to allow me to stay home and be there for him. I’ve worked whenever I was able to.  It’s just that it’s now sinking in that that’s going to stop.  All the plans I’ve been making and ideas I’ve been working on will probably come to nothing. The book I picked up the other day on Ephesians to help with a sermon series idea probably wasn’t necessary as I likely won’t do the sermon series unless I start leading a random weeknight service somewhere because I won’t have anywhere to preach.

It’s going to be a fairly tricky transition for me. My schedule will change and my life will look different. I know it’s coming fast and I also know that God has his hand in it. It’s the right thing for everyone involved even if it’s difficult in some ways for me. Sometimes what God wants isn’t easy and transition towards the new way can be rough. Even so it always seems to works it’s way out.

I’m not alone in this I know. It is a time of transition for many of us in the church.  We see buildings closing, worship styles shifting and people moving in and out of our midst.  Things won’t look the same when all is said and done but that’s ok.  What is coming next will be worth it if we hang on through the rough stuff.

It’s a time of transition. To what I don’t know but wherever I wind up will be where God leads. The key thing here is surrendering my desires and following God’s direction.  I’m working on that.  Some days it’s harder than others but I know in the end that God knows best and what happens will be a good thing.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Do you have any great transition stories?  How do you handle periods of change?  Where do you think God is leading you?

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Filed Under: Faith, Musings, Reflections

We don’t need to know the hows or the whys…

11 Apr posted by

My husband is amazing and discovered iTunes Match this week which lets me stream my entire collection of music anywhere I go.  I’m not entirely certain how it works but it does and I love it.  I’ve discovered music from my past and I think he may be regretting that as the music of my youth is making an appearance once more.  He finds Will Smith, Maroon 5 and Sugar Ray to be completely ridiculous.  The truth is I do too but that’s what’s so awesome about it.  I’m 19 again.  It’s amazing.

There’s something to be said for looking to the past.  To discover where you’ve been, who you were and contrasting that with what you are now.  I look back at 19 and see a girl who was young, scared and unsure.  This was the age in which I had a dramatic experience in my call journey. The memories of that, the sequence of dreams and conversations is a distinct, vivid memory that I am unlikely to forget.  It was an experience to say the least and I am surprised at how everything has turned out.  It’s been a crazy-wonderful journey with ups and downs that has helped to define me.  I have changed so much and been changed by the people I have met, the work I do and those I love.  Life is good.

Life is good and the journey is never ending.  I am having those God-moments again at 33.  A little older, hopefully wiser and not as scared when they arrived.  Uncertain and slightly anxious maybe but not surprised.  A dream the other night woke me from a deep sleep leaving me strangely comforted and challenged.  When I told my friend Rachel about the dream she challenged me with questions that I had immediate answers to.  I hadn’t realized how much I’d been thinking about what comes next and preparing myself to continue living in this time of uncertainty until our conversation.  And really, when you think about it isn’t that the life that Jesus calls us into, a life of uncertainty?  He sent his disciples out into the world with nothing but faith and willingness to serve.  He didn’t promise success or certainty, he just said go out and do the work I have sent you to do.

I have been called into a different type of ministry, a ministry without permanent roots but one in which I’ve discovered freedom and flexibility.  Without budgets and overhead to worry about I’ve been able to focus on the thing I love, Jesus.  I’m able to really work things out, challenge myself and say some things I would never have said if I was employed permanently.  I’ve been honest and forthcoming and I have loved the people I’ve worked with no matter how short the time has been.  For a girl who used to demand answers and timelines I’ve found a way to relax and change in my work.  I’ve grown more comfortable in who I am as a minister.  This is huge for me.  I have never really been comfortable in this before.  It’s a nice feeling.

Things will change once more in the not too distant future.  The congregation I’ve been worshipping with will find a new minister and I will rejoice with them when that happens.  I want them to move forward, to discover their path and run down it.  After this I’m not sure what will happen but I know that opportunities will present themselves and I’ve got a feeling I won’t be bored.  I am comfortable in the not knowing as sometimes that’s when the greatest things happen.

It’s funny, the re-discovery of the music of my youth and thoughts of the past have reminded me of who I was and shown me who I am.  I’m so glad I’m not judged on the past but it’s nice to be able to look at it and see how much change has occurred. While I may not know where I am going I suspect others are in the same boat.  Ministry seems to be shifting towards the realm of uncertainty.  No longer can we assume that buildings will be there and people will come.  Change is coming faster than we anticipated and I am glad I’m living this season now.  God has given me the gift of living through this now, of seeing how different things can be than we expect and I am grateful for this.  I am reminded of how the disciples went out uncertain of their acceptance and returned triumphant.  “The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” (Luke 10:17 NIV)  So long as we in the Church carry God with us as we journey we will be ok even if we have no idea where we’re going or how we’re going to get there.  We don’t need to know the hows or the whys, we just need to know who to travel with.

 

 

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Filed Under: Faith, Musings

It takes a village.

9 Apr posted by

Bible
Every night before bed my son and I read together.  He dives under the covers and we read stories that take us to far away places like Little Critter Land and the Island of Sodor.  We also read the classics from my youth like Robert Munsch and The Berenstain Bears. When we were at Costco a few weeks ago we found the Berenstain Bears Storybook Bible and have already read through it completely and are now turning to our favorite stories each night.  My son loves the story of Jesus and finds David to be quite compelling.  It’s been a really fun read together and the pictures are quite delightful.  Each story also comes with commentary from Mom of course and I think he finds it funny.

I love to talk to my son about life and faith and all kinds of things as it happens around us but it’s not something that I do in an age specific way.  It’s something we live in this house and as a result I don’t really think about programming it into our day at a specific time, it’s just what we do.  I think this may be unusual in the Christian circuit, or at least it feels that way to me today.  My son went to a Jump into JK program at our local Christian School to try it out and see if it was a good fit for him.  As he is a shy fellow he wouldn’t let me leave so I got to see what they were doing and I was amazed.  As all the kids sat around the mat they knew word for word ‘Jesus Loves Me’ and X sat there giving me the side eye as I had obviously failed him in not teaching it to him.  It’s not that we don’t listen to Christian music ever.  I have it playing on my iPhone in my mix and he knows some of the songs pretty well.  As we were driving out of the school parking lot he was belting out the chorus from Josh Turner’s Long Black Train.  Hearing a three year old sing “But there’s victory in the Lord I say” is pretty funny especially after he couldn’t sing Jesus Loves Me.

I think part of this stems from the fact that I tend to bounce around.  We’ve been lucky lately in that I’ve only been supplying in one congregation but we move from church to church as a family and as X. is fairly shy he doesn’t jump in and out of Sunday School programs easily.  I teach him at home.  We pray and read and talk about Jesus but he doesn’t get those kid songs that I remember from my youth. I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  I wonder how it will impact him as he grows.  He is very comfortable in church and is generally well behaved for my husband.  He enjoys listening to hymns and singing along where he can.  Also he shouts out ‘Amen’ at inappropriate times and I find this hilarious. He’s a kid who’s not church-schooled but is very churched.  I wonder how this will work in the future and I suspect he has an advantage, his mom is someone who has resources and tools to teach him at home.  Maybe it’s not conventional but it works for us and he’ll learn it’s okay to probe and question in faith from us.  I’m glad I can do this for him but I wonder about the other kids.  What happens to the families in the church when programming ceases to exist for them.  Where do they turn or do they turn anywhere?

The first thing on the chopping block for any church seems to be Sunday School or child related programming.  This is especially true when the numbers are small.  This is so backward to me.  We should be investing in our children.  Sharing with them and showing them that they are important, that they in fact are the future.  We should let them know that they matter and we should be learning from them, after all Jesus did say unless we become like children there is no getting into the kingdom of heaven. This is a real problem for us.  How can we learn from the children when we don’t see them or place any value on them besides the ten minutes they entertain us during the children’s time in worship?

Do we value our children? Are we giving them what they need?  Do we look to them as our future?

These are questions we really need to be asking.  Like it or not our children are the future.  It’s not about us, it’s about them.  It’s about helping them grow in faith and helping them discover the world around them.  It’s about finding ways to engage and encourage them as they  make their way.  It’s about sharing the gospel in an exciting way because it’s an exciting message. While my son may not know Jesus Loves Me, he will hopefully grow up knowing that God loves him and it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you get back on that horse to try again.  He’ll learn about grace and forgiveness, redemption and living life to the fullest.  I want him to fully engage, to question and ponder.   We will teach these things to him and when we settle once more in a charge I am hopeful that a congregation will assist in this. It takes a village to raise a child.  We need to be that village for our children. To love them and lift them up in faith. To pray for them and give them everything they need to make their way into the world.  Are we doing that?  Are we giving them everything we have?  If not, maybe we should think about what we are doing and ask ourselves if it’s enough.

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Filed Under: Church, Faith, Musings, random church things most of you probably don't care about, Uncategorized

The surprises of spring

5 Apr posted by

Chives
It’s spring time. The chives have returned and life is springing forth into the world. I think because Easter was so early this year I am noticing it more. There are signs of resurrection all around me and I am reminded daily that we are a resurrection people.  We’ve survived the winter and are now looking to spring and it’s offerings to see what comes next. It’s good to see sunshine. It’s wonderful to feel warmth upon one’s face.

Spring is here and we should rejoice. We should rejoice at signs of new growth. It’s hard though sometimes, isn’t it? To see the little sprouts in our lives that are just beginning to push through into the world. We feel as thought things are bleak, as though they aren’t moving when in fact they are, it’s just a little slower than we might like. Sometimes it’s painful and bleak and cold like winter but spring does come and if we’re patient we will see it.

At times I admit I find this concept hard. I have a restless spirit and want answers right away. There are days and weeks when I feel impatient as I sit in a state of molecular frenzy within, as my body says go but my heart is hearing wait. It can be hard to know that things are changing yet not know what they are changing to. But spring reminds me there is beauty in this, beauty in the unknown and right now I’m enjoying the wait. Each year spring brings with it surprises. The bulbs the squirrels moved in the fall pop up in unexpected places, plants poke out of the ground brighter and fuller than ever before and the rabbits (in our yard at least) never cease to surprise me with their resilience and determination to live in our yard where all the neighbor cats sun themselves in the summer.

Spring is here and these chives are just a glimpse of what is yet to come, of the things that are happening in this world and around us.  The chives are a reminder of the possibilities that lay ahead, of things that may be happening in this world and what could happen if we just let it. Winter is ending. There is hope in sight, surprises in store and signs of resurrection if we stop for a moment and look around us.  The question is will we stop? Will we see?

 

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Filed Under: Faith, Hope, Musings, Reflections

Church zombies

27 Jan posted by

My eyes opened and it was dark. Waves of relief rippled through my body. My breathing slowed and began to fade into a smooth rhythm once more. The nightmare was over. The terror had past. It was only a dream.

Last night at 4:30 in the morning I was faced with a terrifying scenario. In my dream as I stepped into the pulpit to begin the sermon, everyone stood up and walked out. Like zombies they fell into step behind one another.  Silent and unresponsive, they were seemingly oblivious to anything that went on around them. As I followed them on their march downstairs, I found them standing in a basement surrounded by water pouring from the ceiling, silent and glassy eyed, doing nothing.

Am I am terrified of being involved with people who fail to see, who are unresponsive and silent in response to what happens around them? Maybe it’s a fear of becoming that myself. Of failing to see and live with purpose. Perhaps I’m afraid that I’ll fail at whatever it is God has called me to do in sharing the Good News. It wasn’t a good dream.

Church zombies are surprisingly scary but very enlightening. I’m pleased to report that this morning’s service was not filled with zombies but was instead a warm, friendly group of people. Nevertheless maybe I should work on some martial arts moves. You never know when the zombie apocalypse might come…

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Filed Under: Musings, Random Blog Stuff

An Open Letter to Rod Stewart.

11 Dec posted by

Bethlehem Nativity
Dear Mr. Stewart,

I just have to open this letter by saying I am a huge fan of your work. In particular I’ve adored ‘the Great American Songbook’ series. As a result I found myself delighted when I discovered you had released a Christmas Album this year. I immediately downloaded it from iTunes and added it to my Christmas playlist. I was however a little surprised by the song ‘Red Suited Superman’. It seemed very out of the ordinary for a Christmas song. Catchy but definitely not a usual Christmas number.

I think what really struck me about this particular song was the sentiment it carried regarding Santa. It seems to me that the song lifts Santa from a fun part of Christmas to a superhero savior figure. Throughout the song there seems to be a belief that Santa can bring joy, peace, love and miracles. Now I love Santa as much as the next person but this seems to me to be a bit of a stretch. Since I’ve known of Santa he’s been the bringer of stuff at Christmas not the Savior. Year after year kids write their lists and send them to Santa for the things that they desire at Christmas. Santa works very hard all year with his elves making tons of toys and then brings them around the world to kids. Santa brings joy that is temporary and wonderful, I won’t deny that but it is temporary. Santa’s joy is not everlasting. He does not impact people in permanent or life changing ways. If the things Santa brought were truly fulfilling would the malls be full on Boxing Day with bargain hunters?  Things don’t satisfy, as people we need something more.

I’m certain you’re aware of this but the origins of Christmas lay in Jesus. It was a feast day to celebrate Christ’s entrance in the world. Christmas is about the moment God entered the world to be with us and offer us hope. It was a day of miracles, joy and overflowing love. Jesus brought us the gift of God’s presence and new possibilities. I think this is where the true miracle of Christmas lies.  It lies in the knowledge that God lived with us, loved us and showed us what it meant to bring peace into the world. Jesus’ life shows us the radiant joy one can find when they live for others and not things. He showed us what it is to spill love into the world and how great an impact one can have on a community by simple caring enough to pay attention. In Jesus we see what it is to truly live a wonderful life and at Christmas we celebrate his entrance into our world.

On Christmas Day in my home we will hear once more the story of Jesus and Santa will have undoubtedly paid a visit. We enjoy the day and all it’s parts but we know the true meaning behind it. Christmas music will be playing and your album will be part of my playlist as I do enjoy it. I would just like to ask one favor. Would you think, really think about who the superman of the story really is? A real superman is someone who changes lives. It seems to me there’s only one person at Christmas who does that.

Merry Christmas,

Becky

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Filed Under: Christianity, Christmas, Faith, Hope, Random Blog Stuff, Reflections

Are we ready for God-with-us?

4 Dec posted by

 

When I look at the nativity scenes scattered around my house and throughout the stores I wonder at the tidiness of it all. It seems too serene, too perfect. Something is not quite right. The nativity that speaks to me isn’t the glass set I brought home from Mexico or even the one I made years ago with my grandmother. The one I resonate with most this year is the Little People nativity set my son has.  I bought it two years ago so he could grow with it and learn hands on who each person was in the Christmas story. I wanted him to see Jesus, to touch him. I wanted him to learn who the wise men were without me telling him to keep his hands off.

As you can imagine a three year old playing with his very own nativity is quite a sight. After a session of play it looks as though a nuclear bomb has exploded in the quiet town of Bethlehem. Animals lay strewn across the floor. Mary and Joseph get mixed up in a pile with wise men and the innkeeper. I’ve even seen the Angel sleeping off the effects of a long night of celebration in the inn on a bed. It’s a mess, a beautiful wonderful mess. My son is learning and discovering what this story is and what Christmas is really about.

It seems so fitting to me. Jesus enters the world and chaos ensues. God-with-us appears to turn everything on it’s head. And it does, doesn’t it? God-with-us pushes and tests, pokes and prods. God-with-us forces us outside of that which is comfortable. It means that God is with us. The God of great expectation is with us expecting things, accepting no mailed in answers. Always wanting more and pushing us to become who we were created to be.

In truth I prefer the messy version of events. The version that’s never talked about where the carpenter becomes a midwife and he panics because the baby is coming and once a baby starts to come, there’s no stopping it. The one where the baby comes out crying and his teenage mother isn’t quite sure what to do so she begins a never ending stream of attempting to feed, checking his diaper and holding him tight to her chest. The story where the young couple with a new baby are greeted by shepherds covered in dirt who want a glimpse of their new, finally sleeping child. Imagine the panic this young couple might’ve faced. Entering a town with no room only to end up delivering in a stable. It’s beautiful and messy.

As a people we often speak about wanting a revival or wanting God’s spirit to stir us in some fashion but I have to ask the question, do we really mean it? Because meaning it invites chaos and confusion into the mix.  Meaning it means God might enter in his way, not ours. Meaning it requires surrendering control to his plan, not ours. From the surface the nativity scene looks fresh and clean but in reality the situation was anything but.

In reality we find Jesus entering the world in a spectacularly messy way. In a stable, with no attendants and people with no real idea of what to do. There were no midwives or doctors. There was nothing sanitary or orderly about it. In the end this entrance helped to set up who he was to become. A man of the people who loved and served even the least of them. A man who challenged and changed the status quo. Who loved so fully that he gave up his life for the sake of all.

To invoke the spirit of God is to invite in that which is messy and say yes to chaos. To invite God in sets us up for a great change and unexpected outcomes. Do we really want God-with-us?

I know I do. What about you?

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Filed Under: Advent, Christianity, Christmas, Faith, Musings, Reflections, The Advent Project
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