It’s been a while. Twelve days to be exact. I’ve been struggling with words and work, with life and sleep. At the start of the year our little guy decided it would be amazing to wake up before everyone and let us all know. I was supposed to have a couple of weeks off after Christmas and unfortunately that didn’t happen and all of that mayhem on top of my Christmas illness and you have one Momma who’s just been pooped. It was all a little too much.
I’ve spent the last couple of weeks just getting stuff done. Doing what needed to get done and what I could do. Focusing on what was present, immediate and here. My son and I played with trains and he spoke to me about important things, ‘Cat in the Hat’ things. My husband and I watched TV together and he patiently sat with me while I struggled through sermons and prayers. I went to a movie with a friend which was so much fun. Playing in the background was the emotionally manipulative stylings of Brad Paisley who never ceases to make me cry and as always my love affair with John Mayer continues. It’s been a never ending stream of busy.
The busyness needs to stop. I need to do more of the fun things. I need margins in my life and room to breathe and move. I’m looking forward to a couple weeks of freedom with far less to do with regards to meetings and errands and work. I have piles of books that are calling out for me to read. Maybe I’ll see another movie. I would like to focus on my reflections and personal spiritual journey. I need to rest. To be still. To sit with God and embrace peace.
It’s hard to let go, to give in and say enough. It’s easy to think that we are the only ones who can do something but we’re not, I’m not. I need to remember that. I love writing and blogging and connecting. I love to be in community and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t been able to do that. This week I am being intentional about margins. I’m not taking on too much and in fact I’ve already said ‘no’ once. It was quite liberating.
This week is the week of enough and as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” so I think as long as I leave space for the Spirit I’ll find some freedom as well. Maybe even a little time to write…