I feel like such a dork.
Today at a meeting with people I respect and admire I actually used sound effects when I couldn’t express in words what I was thinking. Talk about embarrassing. I could’ve died. I managed to trip over a few words before it ended and left thinking ‘Why am I not more eloquent?’ How I wish it was different. I wish I could take the thoughts in my head and have them pour forth in poetic fashion. Alas it is not to be.
After I left the meeting I went to the grocery store and thought about how stupid I was and then wondered why God couldn’t have made me differently. As I stood in front of the chocolate almond milk I thought about the ten pounds I’d like to lose and how if I ever wrote a book I’d have to have head shots taken by someone who knew how to take a good picture so I didn’t look super strange and that’s when it hit me. This morning’s reading from the Lent project tells us that God was pleased with what he created and in another study I’m doing I read Psalm 139 which tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and that God’s works are wonderful. I sure wasn’t believing that.
I am Becky. I’m a dork who often lacks the words necessary to really say what I want to say but I have passion inside and I want good things for those I love, for the Church I am a part of and for this world in which we live. I like Star Trek and Hello Kitty. I dance in my kitchen wildly with my three year old son. I have been known to walk down an aisle in the grocery store I don’t need to be on to avoid someone I sort of know when I don’t know what to say. God created me this way for a reason. Even when I hate the most introverted, dorky parts of myself, God loves them.
I may be a dork but God loves me and made me this way. Realizing that today was a good thing I think.