I am not one of those people who walks through life gracefully. I’d love to channel Audrey Hepburn and wear beautiful clothing and walk through life with grace and style. Instead I throw on jeans, trip going up the stairs and generally wonder how people make their hair look so nice.
This morning was definitely not graceful. With a teething son, a pile of laundry 10 miles high and a list of things to do around the house I decided to get creative in the kitchen. You see my Gran broke her foot last week and I wanted to take her some food when I took X. over for a visit today. I decided on Nutella Banana Bread as a change from my usual Banana Bread and everything looked like it was going well. The batter mixed nicely and went into the pan. In the beginning stages of cooking it smelled delightful and I was looking forward to sharing it with Gran over a cup of tea. Then things got hairy. The bread exploded over the top of the pan. The inside wouldn’t cook. Bread that was supposed to be finished in 40 minutes took over 90 and the result was a lopsided, almost dried out mess. I think with a little tweaking, two pans instead of one, a little more sugar and a little less time in the oven the next batch will come out ok.
This is my crazy life people. I mess up cooking for others. I apply minimal makeup so I don’t look dead. I find it hard to spend money on work clothes yet find myself oddly drawn to Lululemon and it’s hoodies. I am that nutty person you see walking around the grocery store singing to her son. I’m not glamorous by any measure but I love life and have fun living it.
And I wonder sometimes when I realize who I am, why I was chosen by God to serve as a minister. I don’t have a lot to offer beyond an extreme knowledge of pop culture, designer purses and chick lit. I love God and would consider myself very spiritual but sometimes have a hard time expressing it. When I do, it’s definitely not in the beautiful phrases I see others write (they have marvelous talent). I’m not a prayer warrior. I don’t possess charisma and charm (this is probably a good thing as I’d make a terrible televangelist, I hate asking people for money). I’m just me. There are things I do well. I don’t deny that. But I have to wonder why and I really wonder at a God who would say, why not?